A blond and brunnette were about to race across a lake. But the judge told them that they could only swim using the breast stroke. They begin and the brunnette finishes in 25 minutes. An hour later the blond finishes.
The blond climbs into a towel and says, " I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think she was using her arms."
***
A guy walks into a bakery. Nobody was at the front so he rings the bell and says, "Hello?"
Someone replies from the back, "Over here!"
The guy walks around the corner and sees a big sweaty baker wearing no shirt rolling a ball of dough on his stomach.
"What are you doing?" the guys asks.
"I'm making buns." replies the baker
The guys says, "Isn't that kind of disgusting?"
Baker replies, "You should see how I make my donuts."
***
A blonde was shopping and came across a silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was.
“That’s a Thermos,” the clerk said. “It keeps some things hot and some things cold.”
“Wow,” said the blonde. “That’s amazing. I’m going to buy it!”
So she bought the Thermos and took it to work the next day. As her boss walked by he noticed it on her desk.
“What do you have there?” he asked.
“Why, it's a Thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” she replied.
Her boss inquired, “What do you have in it?”
The blond replied, “Two popsicles and some coffee.”
***
SPOILER: This one is somewhat gross - beware!